Mahenga’s Blog

Mahenga already knew that it was not cricket. He as well figured out that Sangkarra is not a Punjabi and Warne not a Rajput. Now he is bewildered weather the IPL is not even a business as well. Having Mr. Mallya sacking his CEO just because the cricket team who he didn’t select and coach lost some matches goes over the head of a layman’s business acumen.

Mahenga was there when he saw Mr. Vijay Mallya with big grin on his face sitting at the auction table with his lieutenant Dravid. Dravid had the long rope to select the players he seem fit. And Dravid did what a Dravid will do select ten more Dravids. Brilliant cricket team but the problem was IPL is not cricket. It was like selecting the believers for atheist only conference, selecting the tigers for cat-fight. Tigers are master strategists but can’t climb the tree. They (Dravids not tigers) can bisect the field with precision for a two but not slog the ball over keeper’s head for six.

Why did Mallya sack his CEO while he was not fully responsible for teams selection or for that matter it’s coaching. This was the first example of its kind in cricket. If BCCI followed similar approach by today it would have sacked most of its management.

But then Mr. Mallya is different. You can see him on phone with his Force India Formula 1 driver while that job should be his technical director’s. His ways of business are as different as IPL is to cricket. While you and I find it insane Mahenga can figure out the reason. It is now well documented as “Shock and Awe” strategy. Shock one target and others will be in awe. Wikipedia defines it as

…spectacular displays of force to paralyze an adversary’s perception of the battlefield and destroy its will to fight.

Of course with a change

…spectacular displays of force to force your allies to act and create a will to fight.

It didn’t work in Baghdad lets see weather it works in Bangalore.

Mahenga found it laughable that Economic Times is calculating how mahenga(costly) is the IPL run. They have worked out that Abhishek Nayar, Shane Watson and Yusuf Pathan are providing runs at a much cheap price than Mahendra Singh Dhoni, Andrew Symonds and Rahul Dravid.

Did the franchises got it wrong and paid way more than the players’ worth. From economic times formula it can be deduced that Jaysurya who was paid around four crores have to score twenty times what Nayar(20 Lacs) scores to payback his worth. For Nayar’s 100 runs so far in the competition, Jaysurya already has a payback bill of 2000 runs!

Economic Times calculations are on assumption that franchise’s did their bidding on the basis of how many runs/wickets these players will be providing. Only economists can think like that. But franchise owners are not economists but marketers and businesses. They know much more than economists. Ricky Ponting was as well wondering how Symmo is so much worth than him. Were franchises bidding thinking that Symmonds will make much more runs than Ricky. No!

Does that then mean runs from certain players are worth more than runs from others. Is one run from Jaysurya 20 times more of value than Nayar’s run. Cricket followers and economists will say no, run is a run whoever scores it. But the Ambanis and Mallyas will think differently. Economists are saying how costly Sachin is turning to be for Mumbai. Ambani will disagree. As you are suspecting it is brand that carries the price.

Talking of Indian players we can understand they have a brand value. But what about Symonds why he carries a higher price tag than his captain. Mahenga suspects it was the monkey-gate that got him that price. Monkey-gate provided him visibility in India. With monkey gate he got his brand (read bad) name.

This theory can be applied on the latest slap-gate. Do you suspect Sree and Bhajji’s price will be reduced come the next IPL season. Mahenga doesn’t think so. Come the next year and the player transfers. Same Punjab team who are upset with Bhajji will be going after him again and Mumbai will make their money out of it. Ambani will get his dues out of even an injured Sachin. Economists will continue their bid to try to make sense out of cost of each run while Ambani’s and Mallya will continue to make money.

So Mahenga witnessed the most mahenga slap he has ever come across. This slap cost Bhajji most of his IPL fees. With this sinking feeling down his heart he must have learnt his lesson. Mahenga can’t believe why he needed to learn his lesson at such a cost. He just has been to the sledging Uni of the world. He should have been the master of it by now. He seems not to be a good student. There are some basic Laws of Sledging as written in the Aussie handbook for sledgers that needs to be learnt by heart. At least Indian Captain realises that. Here is a quote from him.

I am all for aggression and not taking anything lying down from the opposition. It is important to give as good as you get, but it’s even more important to know how to do it.

That was Dhoni’s remark. Our players now need to be versed with this all important skill in gentleman’s game. Young players need to be versed with sledging skills from first class cricket itself. Dhoni laments here.

One of the reasons why the Indians run foul with authorities is because there is very little sledging in first-class cricket in India.

Mahenga has his own coaching classes for sledgers. First thing to understand is that it is an art and not science. In science you know what will be the result of your action. In art it depends upon the artist what he wants to convey. Same words said in different tunes and contexts will have different results. And a master can control what the result he wants.

It has to be done more like chinese art of acupuncture. Small needles pricked at right points at right time to have the desired result. Bhajji used the sledge hammer! While you can hide the needle and go scott free with the hammer you are absolutely going to be caught red handed. Mahenga is against violence so he prefers needles to the hammer.

Sreesanth it turns out was also using acupuncture of some sort for the duration of the contest and even after. Only difference was that he was using knives instead of the needles. End result was that he got the hammer over his head. This is brutal violence from both parties and Mahenga will always condemn it.

Whats done is done lets start the blame game. Both players didn’t play their part well so both needs to be blamed. Both got caught doing their act, one on camera and other by the umpire. As the saying goes; thief is the one who gets caught!

What Mahenga can’t understand is that why most people sound so upset. After all leaving these two aside who else is loosing, forgot about the game of cricket its not anymore cricket. News channels are getting their prime time filled with free visuals without any royalty. Commentators got mouthful to say now. Editors have woken up to fill some columns of their own. Ambani got his eight million back. Aussies are as happy as they can be. Poms are already saying “see we told you grapes were sore”. ICC will tell BCCI to tell their players to do it within the boundaries. Oh these boundaries again!